


math isnt really my strong suit

by neoncybertron



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Dean Winchester Talks About Feelings, Fluff and Angst, Gabriel (Supernatural) is Loki, Other, Post-Episode: s13e17 The Thing, Self-Aware Dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-03
Updated: 2018-10-03
Packaged: 2019-07-24 19:47:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16181933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neoncybertron/pseuds/neoncybertron
Summary: Dean just wants to know why.





	math isnt really my strong suit

“C’mon, man. The dude’s still banged up. We should at least give him time to adjust.”

  
“Who cares about his stupid time? He abandoned us. He abandoned the _world._ We deserve some damn answers, and I’m getting them, whether you like it or not.”

  
“Dean, we - Dean, stop it!”

  
The elder Winchester pushed past his brother, walking into Gabriel’s room before Sam could intervene. He closed and locked the door behind him, ignoring Sam telling him to stop. Dean whirled around to face the archangel sitting on the bed, knees curled up to his chin, him actively trying to look as small as possible.

  
“Alright. Gabriel, I want you to be straight with me, ‘kay? You’ve been gone eight years. I know you went through shit in Hell, but I want you to tell me what happened before. Why the hell did you ditch us?” His questions spilled out like a river, his voice gradually getting louder, gaining more and more conviction.

  
Gabriel let out a small whimper and hid his face in his knees.

  
Officially angry, Dean’s face contorted into a grimace and he yelled, slamming a hand down on the foot of the bed. “Dammit, Gabriel! Talk to me, you asshole!”

  
_“Dean, open this door right now!”_

  
He ignored his brother’s cry.

  
Now, Gabriel was officially scared. The archangel let out a strangled sob and scooted back in a hurry, hitting his back against the wall. He stared up at Dean with wide, terrified eyes, and the hunter crumpled at the sight.

  
Dean let out a sigh, running a hand through his hair. “Shit… I… I’m sorry. I’m just… so tired of all this, man,” he said, chuckling dryly. It was humorless.

  
He looked back at Gabriel, who was still staring at him with fear. “I shouldn’t’ve done all that. Please, I just… Where’ve you been?”

  
Gabriel still looked afraid, but he slowly relaxed just a little bit. He glanced down at himself, the bed, then back up at Dean, and muttered a small, croaky, “I ran.”

  
Dean blinked in surprise. “What’d you say?”

  
“I ran.”

 

The Winchester didn’t know how to respond. He wanted to be mad, and he was, but he saw how Gabriel had reacted last time. If he blew up on the guy one more time, Sam would have his neck.

  
And, as much as he hated to admit it, he was willing to forgive the archangel for what he’d put them through in the past thanks to the abuse he’d suffered in hell.

  
After all, he could relate.

  
Dean slowly sat down on the foot of the bed, attempting to soften his expression for Gabriel’s sake. “Why’d you do that?” he asked quietly. For a long moment, Gabriel didn’t respond, only looked anywhere but Dean. The hunter started to lose hope that he’d even reply at all.

  
Then, he let out another quiet answer. “Scared. Tired of commitment. To Heaven, to Dad… to all of you.”

  
This was another moment that Dean wanted so badly to be angry, but he repressed it. “Guess it didn’t treat you too kindly,” he joked, but upon seeing Gabriel’s reaction, he immediately regretted it. “Sorry. That, uh - that wasn’t, um… a good joke.” Dean cleared his throat awkwardly, keeping his gaze level on Gabriel. He wanted to ask one more thing. Despite literally every ounce of common sense in his body telling him not to, that it just wasn’t a good thing to ask, he wanted to.

  
So. “How long?”

  
Gabriel shot him a perplexed look, underneath all the fear.

  
“In Hell. How long were you there?”

  
The archangel stiffened, and he looked like he might cry. Dean’s common sense was rioting at him. He pressed on. “You supposedly died eight years ago. How long’s it been?”

  
There was yet another long, painful moment of silence, before Gabriel’s slow answer. “Seven. In - in Earth years.”

  
Dean let out a low whistle. “Oh. Oh, man, I - oh.” Dean himself had only been in the pit for four months, and even that was enough to drive him mad. Seven years? He didn’t even want to imagine how long that was in Hell Time. “...I’m sorry. Guess I understand why you’re, uh… how you are right now.” Knowing all the torture, the longevity of it, that Gabriel had been put through seemed to have humbled Dean to some extent. He was quieter, less angry. At the archangel, at least.

 

Now he really understood why Sam himself was so upset.

  
“I’m really sorry, man. I… I’ve been a major dick, haven’t I?” Dean laughed, but just like before, it was hollow. Gabriel’s eyes met his for the first time in a while, and some of the fear started to fade away. Not all of it, not by a long shot - but enough to make Dean feel at least a little bit better.

  
“Listen, Gabriel… We aren’t gonna let that kind of shit happen to you again, okay? You’re gonna be safe from now on. So… You don’t have to be scared anymore. ‘Cuz trust me, I get the feeling. You don’t trust anyone or anything, you’re just scared of any movement at all… but you don’t have to be anymore, got it? Sam and I got your back, and - and so does Cas. Okay?”

  
Dean sucked in a breath, afraid that he might have been a bit overbearing or something, or that he’d scared Gabriel _more_ with his speech, but when he dared to look back at him, he was smiling slightly.

  
“... I kinda regret killing you so much now,” Gabriel replied, and his eyes, for a moment, had that familiar Trickster shine in them. Dean was actually _relieved._

  
“Aw. And I regret trying to kill you so much now, too,” Dean joked back. This was good. This was a win. Gabriel was going to improve.

  
“We really missed you, man,” Dean said quietly. Gabriel’s expression was somber, and he nodded ever so slightly. The silence hung heavy in the air, both of them looking slightly uncomfortable. “...I’ll, uh, go ahead and… go, now. You can just, uh, rest up, ‘kay?” Dean said, breaking the silence. Gabriel nodded, so he turned and headed to the door. Just as he opened it, the archangel spoke.

  
“Thank you, Dean.”

**Author's Note:**

> howdy! i hope you liked this short thing. i just wanted to write a nicer, better dean bc s13 dean makes me mad. also, i feel like dean would def understand the shit with hell, seeing as he was there for quite a while too! thanks for reading :)


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